Being a woman, a wife and then become a mother

Quote: “That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.” ― Emily Dickinson

One of the reasons I so easily understood my Husband’s point of view on not having a baby is that I don’t feel ready to become a mother just yet. I’ve always thought that being a woman is something that comes naturally but only recently have I started paying attention to my own needs and not feel guilty about it. As a human being and as a woman I have needs and cravings that only I can listen to, but they take time and sometimes money, and I used to feel guilty or even stupid acting that way.

Now I’m also a wife and I have to take care of my Husband’s needs as well as mine. The key is to keep both our needs balanced which again is not something that comes just like that. I’ve been upset with my Husband because he didn’t do something I wanted him to but didn’t ask him to do (I’m sure I’m not the only one in that case!) or because he asked me to do something I said I would do although I had something else planned for myself. The worst thing is that I didn’t even noticed being upset with him about it and I felt even worse that he thought I was. So we started discussing and found out we both were expecting a lot from each other and definitely needed to remember we were just normal human beings. It’s been some time since we are together but this year has been the first one we really have time to acknowledge these points and take time to find answers. There is no moving, no new school adaptation (well yes but nothing compared to Koç!), no studies and no big changes. We can take some time to try and understand each other more easily.

Becoming parents is a life changing experience. It takes time and can be a real challenge. As a woman your body changes and you go through many different phases where you come to love and hate yourself as well as those around you. As a couple you need to find a new balance where both lose time for each other as well as for one self. This is why we decided to give each other at least one more year before having a baby. We both need some more time and although time is running by (my Husband is 37 now) we both believe we will make better parents if we first take time to be better persons and a better couple.

So this is what this year will be dedicated to: finding oneself and each other. Let’s hope we reach our goal.

As my tradition wants it:

The good: dedicating our time to understand each other and oneself

The bad: risking to lose a great opportunity to become parents